What makes a good person “good?”
Seems like a simple enough question. If anything, it’s a fun question to ask little kids. They have the best answers! But then if you ask teenagers, like I did because I have teenagers, the answers get a little more complex.
“A good person does the right thing even when it’s hard to do.”
“A good person tells their friend when their friend is doing something wrong.”
“When someone is in a relationship, they should be committed to the person they’re with. And if they like someone else, they need to end the relationship instead of cheating.”
When I searched, “What is a good person” on Google, there were lists of qualities that make up what a “good” person is. According to PsychCentral, there are some signs that point to someone being a good person: empathy, kindness, altruism, compassion, integrity, and inclusivity (6 Signs You’re A Good Person,2024). This article breaks down each of these characteristics, demonstrating the “goodness.” Cottonwood Psychology also has a great article listing nine qualities of a good person.
Additionally, I found a multitude of quotes about what a good person is. Amongst these, kindness was spoken about the most.
“What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?” – Jean-Jacques Rousseau
“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.” – Oscar Wilde
“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” – Amelia Earhart
While I found that there are many qualities that make up a good person, I still believed that the question was more complex than one that called for a simple definition. Because humans are complex.
A good fiction writer, for instance, will write a proper villain who has some good qualities that may make them relatable. For example, in The Phantom of the Opera, the writer gave the Phantom a harsh childhood and a passion for music. Although obsessed, he loved Christine Daae enough to eventually set her free in the end. That showed compassion, but did it wipe away his previous acts and deem him a good person?
There are plenty of people who have done bad things in their past but have atoned for them and gone on to become good people. Were they always good and just did bad things? And there are also plenty of people who seemed to be good but then did very bad things. Were they good before?
I believe most people are inherently good and want to be so. But I’ve heard people say that human nature makes people survivalists and so we are inherently bad and selfish. I can watch one psychologist on YouTube advocate persuasively in my favor and another in the complete opposite.
If you’ve ever watched the TV show, Friends, you may remember an episode where Joey argues with Phoebe about whether or not a truly selfless act exists. He states that it doesn’t because the person who does the selfless act feels good about doing it. Phoebe attempts to prove him wrong a couple of times. Finally, she donates live to a PBS telethon, which she hates because she experienced childhood trauma by PBS’s show Sesame Street. She considered this especially selfless. However, her donation brought Joey live on television, which made her feel good, thus proving him right.
In the end, I believe what makes a good person good lies in their overall character. Despite their imperfections, do they act with integrity and good will, kindness and compassion? I also believe people are complex and sometimes good people will do bad things. We are imperfect and are prone to temptations, missteps, and misjudgments. These do not make good people bad. I also believe bad people do exist and sometimes they do good things. This does not make them good.
What do you think? What makes a good person “good?”
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